sandwich any body? :)

How proud I am as her sister when she tagged several sandwich photos in her fb 🙂 My little sister is very happy when I called her three days ago. She told me about how easy to make those sandwiches and her ‘willingness’…hhhmmm, a little bit hard to grab by my mind…to made them for her friends. Hey…make one first for your big sisters 🙂

sandwich ala dinar

Jakarta, 15 March 2013


beautiful in His time

Early this morning, my little dearest sister texts me and send this picture. How a wonderful prayer. This verse reminds me that God will make all things–good and bad–beautiful in His time, not in my time.

She is still in her recovery stage and today will be her 3rd times to see the doctor and change the bandage if necessary. She tells me that her elbow is much better and i hope she can move easily her right arm soon, then she can get back to her school which she miss so much. So, thank you for all the prayers for her.

Jakarta, 22 October 2012

[how can I] count your own blessings

Finally my little sister had her surgery on Friday nite, 10-12 pm. The surgery actually will be held on the next Saturday morning, but because the surgical will be used, my sister’s schedule is changed to Friday nite.

After the surgery, all her right arm is being wound around with a bandage. So now she cant move it or do everything. My mom becomes her helper when she wants to pee, to take a bath, to eat, to change her clothes…all depends on my mom’s help.

On Sunday morning (7 Oct 2012), the doctor says that she can go home … yey!! 🙂 But, my mom’s tasks are not over yet. She becomes Dinar’s babysitter … Dinar, the giant baby 🙂 Just feel sorry since I cant help my mom yet. 

Sunday moves forward and Monday arrives. My mom says that the bandage is wet at several places, at Dinar’s wrist and upper arm. A new blister appears in her palm, near her right little finger.

I start to think about her wound…what will happen with her skin after the restoration? What if it makes her  of having low self-esteem? And another worries I’ve got for her. I ask God, why bad things happen to her? Once I called her and she said that her right palm swells and it is like the monster’s palm. How cant I cry to hear her sentence?

My worries consume me to much. “Count your own blessings,” someone says, “when your worries have become a heavy burden for you.” You know, it is not an easy thing to do, especially if you are the one who face the problem. I want to help Dinar if some days she needs my support so that she can move on with her life and her scars. But even now, I still need help to conquer my own worries.

What can I do now? Here are things that I can do. I give thanks to the Lord:

* I can see the smile in her face

* since only her right arm which is injured, and not her whole body

* for her friends and teacher who move quickly to take her to the hospital

* the surgery went well and for good doctors. On Sunday morning she can go home

* for the money which He provided to pay all the hospital payments

* for her friends and my folks’ friends who visit and pray for her

* for the health of my mom and my dad who take care of her


I pray that:

* She will get her recovery soon and go back to school again

* The wound do not create “a serious scar” and her new skin layer is not too scary

* God gives patience, wisdom, and good stamina for my folks in doing their own activities and to take care of Dinar.

So, just hope the best dan pray for her recovery. The bandage will be changed on Friday (12 October 2012). That’s the way I count my blessings. Any other ideas?



Jakarta, 9 October 2012

a new blessing?

The rain is so hard tonite. I’m still in the course place and don’t know when I can go home. It’s already 7 pm and the rain start to slow down and finally it stops. But…when the rain stops, vehicles, especially motorcycle, start to fulfill the main street in front of the e-nopi office. Oh boy…the water is also welling in every roadside and the road must be slippery enough.

Have to move on if I wanna go home. After put on my raincoat, I leave the office with my motorcycle. Can not move faster since all the cars and motor move slowly. I chose to run in the middle part of the road to avoid the welling water in the roadsides. Though slowly, finally I reach my home at 7.45 pm. Thanks God.

After clean up myself and my room, I check my handphone and there is one miscalled from my mom. When I call her back, almost I cry when she told me that my little chef is in hospital now. Dinar, my youngest sister, the little chef, got an accident in her school kitchen in the afternoon.

She would cook rawon with her group. When she wanted to taste the soup with a wood spoon, suddenly the pot, which full of hot sauce, moved and fell down. The hot sauce poured out on her right arm. Her friends and her teacher immediately took her at Panti Waluyo hospital…by motorcycle 😦 My poor little sister

Dinar’s friend who took her in his motor couldn’t find the UGD room. He asked satpam, but got no answer. He started to panic since he saw that Dinar looks in pain. Finally, they could reach the UGD and Dinar got the treatment.

The hospital calls my folks after 4 pm and inform them that Dinar is getting treatment for the blister in her right arm. Then they hurry up to the hospital. When my mom calls me, I’m still struggle in the slippery road.

“She is ok,” my mom said. “Waiting for all the blisters ‘explode’, then she will taken to the surgical room to clean up the ‘death skin’.” Just cant imagine how painful it is.

Hope she will be better soon. For my mom and my dad too. Just find out that they argued about the room. My dad doesn’t want to put her in the first class since it will be expensive. But when looking at the blisters, actually a private room is needed since she cant wear any clothes for a moment because there are so many wounds and it will take days to recover. In one side, I know the reason why my dad disagree to put her in the first class. We dont how to get the money to pay back all the cost. Though there is insurance from her school, we have to pay it first and we dont know how to get the money.

So, it is decided to put her in the second class. The room has two beds, and no TV for the one who accompany her, which is always my mom. Need to figure out how to help my mom so that she isnt bored when there is nothing to do in the hospital…when my little sis is sleeping. I wish I could replace my mom 😦

This morning I check Dinar’s facebook. Yesterday morning she posted a message: “new day, new morning, I’m ready for a new blessing.” And at yesterday also at 2 pm, she’s got the accident (4 October 2012). Is it her new blessing?

Jakarta, 5 October 2012

my little chef

She was still 9 years old when I left her. Stil in the 4th grade of her elementary school. I still remember the crying, the pain, and the emptiness when I dont live together with her anymore.

But now, my dearest little sister is almost 15 years old. Six years has been passed and now she becomes a teenager, not a child anymore.

She is really dependent now, though still clumsy in doing the household works 🙂 Start from riding her bycicle, boiling water, cooking indomie, frying tofu, and many more. All cant be achieved by her if i lived with her since i spoiled her so much, the youngest sister in the house.

For my surprise, yesterday she sent me pictures of 3 kinds of food she made with her school group–rujak, gado-gado, and 3-colors of porridges. Wow…my little sister can cok real food now 🙂 Yes, after graduated from her junior school, she chose to go to SMK and not SMA. Though SMK is very far away from our house, she still decides to chose SMK and go to Boga division. She has a vision to continue my mom’s business as a caterer. Even i do never think about take over my mom’m….i cant cook and i dont like to cook….i just like to eat :))

But my spoiled little sister has such kind of vision. Yes, she is the one who stays with our parents now. At first, she wants to be an English teacher, perhaps she wants to follow my step. But when she lives day after day for 6 years, without my interference, she already changes her mind 🙂 She, who never willing to help my mom whenever there were catering orders or help to cook when i stay around, is the only daughter who wants to follow and continue my mom’s step.

Good job my dear. Keep up your dream to become a great chef.

Jakarta, 11 September 2012

my little hani

Sepulang kantor (Senin, 16 Juli 2007), aku bergegas menuju rumah sakit. Bersyukur karena ada Tina sehingga bisa nebeng mobilnya sampai di halte busway yang paling dekat dengan kantor. Jalanan cukup lengang dan penumpang busway pun tidak terlalu berjubel seperti biasanya. Ada temen sekantor yang naik busway juga dan kami pun berpisah di halte Harmoni. Setelah ganti busway, aku sampai di rumah sakit jam 18.50. Yang kujumpai di kamar perawatan hanya sepupuku. “Hani masih di HCU (High Care Unit),” katanya. “Baru keluar dari ruang operasi jam 17.00,” lanjutnya. “Lama sekali operasinya,” batinku ketika menyusuri lorong menuju ke lantai 3, tempat ruang HCU berada. Sesampainya di HCU, om Joko dan beberapa tanteku sudah ada di sana. Setelah memakai baju khusus ruang HCU (yang sebenarnya ga ku tau apa fungsinya karena toh naruhnya di ruang luar juga), aku bisa masuk ke ruangan dan melihat Hani sekilas. Di kepalanya ada perban besar dan banyak selang yang dipasang di tubuh mungilnya — selang infus, selang oksigen, denyut jantung, pengukur tekanan darah, dan entah apa lagi. Jam bezuk pun berlalu dan aku pun harus ke luar dari HCU termasuk mamanya. Sempat terdengar dia memanggil, “Mama …” … tetapi mamanya pun tetap harus ke luar ruangan. Jika dia nangis, baru lah mamanya dipanggil oleh perawat.

Percakapan-percakapan ini adalah hasil cerita dari om Joko saat menjelang operasi ….

“Hani ga mau potong rambut, Ma … pengin rambut panjang…”
(“Tapi nanti dokternya akan memeriksa kepala Hani di bagian ini ni .. di belakang kepala. Kan ga keliatan jika rambutnya tidak dipotong. Ntar juga cepet tumbuh lagi kok,” bujuk mamanya. Karena rambutnya tebal, Hani pun diboyong ke salon yang ada di dekat rumah sakit. Dia nyalon dulu sebelum dioperasi karena pisau cukur perawatnya tidak bisa mengatasi ketebalan rambutnya. Kepalanya pun dibotakin 🙂 )

“Ma … Ma … infus itu apa?” cecarnya ketika perawat hendak memasangkan infus di tangannya.
“Sakit ga, Ma?” tanyanya
(“Infus itu obat cair. Hani perlu obat dan nanti obatnya jalan lewat selang ini nih. Sakitnya seperti digigit semut. Sakit sebentar kok … Hani pengin cepet sembuh, kan?” jelas mamanya.)

“Ma … aku dibawa ke mana? Aku ga disuntik kan, Ma?” tanyanya ketika tempat tidurnya didorong menuju ke kamar operasi.
(Ga … nanti Hani tidak disuntik. Hanya diperiksa saja kepalanya. Dokternya sudah nunggu di ruangan itu tuh,” jelas mamanya sambil menahan tangis.)

“Da…da…, Ma …da… da…,Pa, da… da… Eyang,” kata Hani ditengah isak tangisnya sambil melambaikan tangan ke mama, papa, dan eyangnya saat pintu kamar operasi menjadi pembatas yang tidak bisa dilalui lagi. Tangis pun pecah begitu pintu itu tertutup rapat dan Hani tidak terlihat …

Detik demi detik berlalu … sejak jam 12.30 masuk ke kamar operasi. Sudah 2-3 jam berlalu tapi tidak ada tanda-tanda Hani dikeluarkan dari kamar operasi. Akhirnya jam 17.00 pintu kamar operasi pun terbuka dan Hani pun dibawa keluar. Dia sudah setengah sadar dari pengaruh bius totalnya.

“Pulang … Ma,” ujarnya lirih saat melihat mamanya.
(“…pulangnya nanti ya …Hani sembuh dulu supaya bisa cepat pulang,” hibur mamanya. Dan Hani pun tertidur lagi.)

Tiba-tiba dia berteriak, “Ma … buang, Ma … guntingnya itu, Ma. Hani takut, Ma,” jeritnya.
(“Hani … guntingnya sudah tidak ada. Sekarang mama sudah ada di sini. Ga perlu takut, ya,” kata mamanya. Rupanya Hani menggigau karena pengaruh biusnya masih bekerja.)

“Ma … Ma … jangan pergi ya,” pintanya. Itu kalimat yang kudengar langsung saat menjenguknya di HCU. Setelah itu, dia tertidur lagi.

My little Hani … cepat sembuh ya, sayang … Itu harapan kami semua. Biang keladi dari melimpahnya cairan di otaknya sudah ditemukan. Ada daging tumbuh seujung jari yang menyumbat saluran cairan di kepalanya. Cairan sudah dibersihkan dan daging penyumbat itu juga sudah dibuang. Sekarang tinggal menetralkan jumlah cairan di kepalanya dan selang masih terpasang di kepalanya. Setelah volume cairan netral, selang itu pun bisa dilepas.

My poor little Hani …

Jakarta, 19 Juli 2007

my hani

Baru Jumat kemarin (6 Juli 2007) diadakan acara untuk memperingati 100 hari meninggalnya tanteku (cerita Tabur-Tuai) dan Sabtu lalu aku mendapatkan sms yang mengejutkan dan tidak terduga sama sekali.

Aku putus komunikasi dengan omku yang tinggal di Senen, alias aku malas banget untuk berkunjung ke rumahnya. Jangankan berkunjung, untuk menelepon saja bisa dikatakan tidak pernah selama 2 bulan lebih 😦 … aku benar-benar kebangetan nih … Gara-gara itu, aku sendiri tidak tau jika ada peringatan 100hari-nya tanteku dan ketika keponakanku, Hani (cucunya om Joko), dirawat di rumah sakit.

Jika tanteku yang di Bogor (mbak Marni) tidak mengirimkan sms, aku tidak pernah tau bahwa Hani masuk rumah sakit. Aku merasa bersalah banget karena selama ini tidak pernah menelepon ke Senen. Aku telepon mbak Marni untuk menanyakan secara lebih detil. Mbak Marni bilang jika om Joko “marah” karena aku sudah tidak pernah telepon ke Senen. Jika aku pengin tau tentang Hani, aku dimintanya untuk telepon om Joko atau ke ortunya Hani. Hatiku langsung deg-deg-an karena terus terang aku tidak berani dan sungkan banget rasanya untuk telepon om Joko.

Akhirnya hari Minggu pagi pun, kuberanikan diri untuk telepon. Pertanyaannya sederhana tapi bikin hatiku hancur, “Kowe akeh gaweyan ya (kamu banyak kerjaan ya)? … Klambiku sing saka Solo isih mbok gawa (Bajuku yang dari Solo masih kau bawa)? Diterne neng Senen ya, yen wis ana wektu (Diantar ke Senen ya, jika kamu ada waktu).”

Perkataan-perkataan itu seperti menampar hatiku. Aku mah tidak sesibuk pejabat tapi kok ya ga ada waktu bahkan untuk telepon. Sepulang ibadah, aku langsung pergi ke rumah sakit … tempat di mana dulu tanteku (yang barusan meninggal) dirawat. Kali ini aku menuju ke ruang Badar, bangsal khusus untuk merawat anak-anak. Aku pun bisa bertemu Hani. Umurnya baru 6 tahun lho tapi badannya sudah bongsor.

Aku nanya-nanya tentang penyakitnya dan ternyata memang ada kelebihan cairan di kepalanya yang harus dikeluarkan. Gejala-gejalanya sih mulai terlihat sejak neneknya meninggal. Cara jalannya Hani sudah mulai miring-miring dan kakinya berjinjit tiap kali melangkah. Jika dia berdiri, tiba-tiba bisa jatuh sendiri atau terduduk. Ortunya sudah memeriksakan ke dokter anak yang mengatakan jika tidak ada masalah dengan kesehatannya Hani. Namun, karena gejala-gejala tadi makin menjadi, ortunya membawa Hani ke dokter saraf dan menjalani ct-scan hari Rabu (11 Juli 2007). Akhirnya tampaklah kelebihan cairan di kepalanya dan operasi tidak bisa ditunda lagi sebelum cairan itu merajalela. Penyakitnya tersebut hampir mirip dengan hydrocephalus, tetapi belum terlalu parah. Jika terlambat didiagnosa, anak yang menderitanya akan mengalami kebutaan karena cairan itu sudah menarik saraf-saraf penglihatannya.

Penyakit itu sungguh tidak terduga dan aku tidak tega melihat anak sekecil Hani akan menjalani operasi di kepala untuk mengeluarkan cairan itu. Operasi diadakan hari Senin ini (16 Juli 2007) jam 13.00. Saat aku menengoknya, anaknya masih biasa-biasa saja … masih banyak makan dan minta main perosotan yang disediakan di bangsal Badar.

Melayangkan pandang ke bangsal Badar ini bisa membuat hati trenyuh. Ada beberapa bayi yang dirawat dengan infus yang terpasang di tangan dan kaki mungil mereka. Ada anak yang baru saja menjalani operasi pengangkatan bisul di sebelah telinga kanannya, dan ada banyak lagi anak yang dirawat di bangsal itu. Dan hari ini, giliran Hani yang akan dioperasi ….

Jakarta, 16 Juli 2007