Don’t You Trust Me?

After tidied up the room, my uncle said that my cousin, Gary, will take me home. “Oh, no,” I said to myself. I’d rather go by bus than with Gary. He will ride his motorbike, the big one. Though I know how good Gary is with his motor, I am still afraid.

“Let’s go, sis!” said Gary when he was ready to take me home.

“Be careful and don’t go too fast!” my uncle said to his son. “OK, boss,” replied Gary with his smile.

Then, he and I were heading to the highway and my fear getting worsted. Many said that the biker will know when his/her passenger was very tense or afraid. “Are you afraid,” asked Gary.

“How many times you were riding with me and you still afraid?” he teased me.

“Of course, I am afraid. Don’t ride too fast, please.” He just laughed.

When we were in the highway, he didn’t slow down. I knew he was very skillful to ride in this heavy traffic jam, but still . . . Though he was fast, several motors are faster than him. When I kept talking to myself, “Please be calm, don’t be afraid,” suddenly on my left, I saw a man who rode with a small boy, perhaps his son. The boy was so calm. He just held the man’s waist and enjoyed the scenery. When we stopped at the traffic light, I say a woman who rode with a teenage girl. No worry in the girl’s face as soon as the woman hit the gas very fast when the traffic light turned to green. Me still stiff on Gary’s motor. What things made me so afraid to ride as motorbike’s passenger? List of “what ifs” was dancing in my mind . . . What if Gary runs too fast? What if he lost control of his speed and can’t hit the break? What if we fall? What if another motor hits us? What if there is accident? What if . . .

Before Gary hit the gas to make his motor faster, his question stunned me. “Don’t you trust me? I will never let you fall. Just relax and I will drive you safely.”

It seemed that he knew my mind? 🙂 I know that I am not as skillful as Gary when riding a motorbike. But I prefer to be the driver than the passenger. I can manage my speed (though I am well-known as the slowest rider) and how to ride my motor. Frankly, I am not brave enough to ride motorbike by own in the highways.

Gary’s question made me think, while I tried hard to calm myself. “Don’t you trust me?”

When for this simple thing—riding a motorbike with him—I can’t trust him fully, how I can trust something big or someone? It seems that I only prefer to trust myself. Though it isn’t always bad, but my percentage of trusting myself is very high. I need to learn to trust with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding, day by day, even with a simple thing like to ride a motorbike with Gary.

Reference: Proverb 3:5

Jakarta, 8 March 2018

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